I built the wall all by myself
For fear that he would see
I’m broken. I can’t be fixed.
To turn off the constant aching
I turn off my heart and hide.
I lost the child that I so long to hold.
I’ve lost myself inside myself
I can’t find my way out of this fat suit.
This heavy body bag will take me to my grave.
A barren womb, and empty tomb
Does it matter either way?
I’m miserable when trying.
I’m miserable when I’m not.
Why not just be miserable and enjoy time I’ve got.
I can’t see how he’d love this…
This enormous mass of lard.
He says he does, but I’m disgusted at what in the mirror lies.
My image makes me sickly.
My weight drags me down.
One of these days the earth will crumble; in it I will drown.
No chair can support me.
No clothing can contain.
There is no escape. Accept my fait. I’m a fat girl.
